Canine Conspiracy/Transcript
Cut to a building with a sign that reads "Sam's Delicatessen." A woman comes out of the building carrying groceries as Garfield narrates. Garfield: A week ago Tuesday Mrs. Ethel Feinblatt stops at a local delicatessen for a corned beef on rye, easy on the mustard, and a side of slaw. Suddenly, the unexpected happens. A dog rounds the corner of the street and grabs the woman's purse in its mouth. Mrs. Ethel Feinblatt: Stop! Help! That dog took my purse! Stop that dog! Garfield: The purse snatching pooches, today on {Steel bars appear with logo in the middle that reads "The Garfield Crime Files"} the Garfield Crime Files. {Cut to a desk where Garfield is seated, dressed in detective garb. He is reading a piece of paper, which he sets down as he talks} Welcome to the Garfield Crime Files, where each week we bring you the story of some sinister lawbreaker {slams fist on desk} like Benny "The Celery Stalk" Burlap {cut a picture of a man resembling a stalk of celery} wanted for embezzlement, armed robbery, and buying a leisure suit after 1971. {Cut back to Garfield} Or Sam "The Spatula" Shmidlap {Cut to a picture of a man with a large, flat head} wanted for gambling, smuggling, and having one of those "Baby on Board" signs in his car window. {Cut back to Garfield} A couple of tough customers there. But today on The Garfield Crime Files {walks to file cabinet} and by the way, this feature is nothing like The Garfield Tales of Scary Stuff, let's get that straight. In this drawer is the Case of the Purse Snatching Pooches. {Opens drawer. Cut to the inside of the drawer, which contains some food items} Excuse me. In this drawer is my lunch. {Closes drawer and opens another one} In this drawer is the case of the Purse Snatching Pooches, and how this air-headed Airedale found himself in the midst of it. {Pulls a picture of Odie out} How could sweet, innocent Odie find his mug on {holds up a "Wanted" poster with Odie's picture with temporary tears in his eyes} the Ten Most Wanted Hounds List? For that answer, we have to go back to last Monday {cut to house} and this quaint suburban home. {cut to Jon reading over a list} Inside, cartoonist Jon Arbuckle was making up a grocery list. Jon starts typing on a laptop. Jon: {typing aloud as a printer prints} Cheese dip, chestnuts, chewing gum, chicken gumbo. {Camera zooms out, revealing the list's long length} Garfield: The list was so long he decided to send his dog to the market just to pick up items beginning with the letter "J." Jon: That's probably all he can carry. Jon walks over to an eager Odie with the list. Garfield: He gave the mutt money and the list and sent him on his merry way {walks out of door} Cut to Garfield sitting on a sofa. He clicks on the remote, and a newsperson appears. Newsperson: No leads in the string of purse snatchings allegedly being perpetrated by dogs. Jon walks in. Jon: Garfield, will you turn the TV off? I have to work. {walks out} Garfield: I have to work, too. {voiceover} But while I, the cat, was hard at work, Odie was already halfway downtown. {cut to street} where unbeknownst to him, Mrs. Barbra Streisand, no relation to the singer, was just leaving Harry's Chicken Suit Emporium {woman walks out carrying a chicken suit} with her usual Memorial Day chicken costume. A dog comes running down the sidewalk and steals the woman's purse. Barbra Streisand: Help! A dog stole my purse! Garfield:' The dog had almost made a clean getaway when he saw them. {dog stops, cut to a police car driving up} The police. In his panic, he dropped the stolen purse and fled into an alley. {dog drops purse and runs down an alley} Ten seconds later, Odie turned the corner onto Elm Street. {cut to Odie} "Some poor lady dropped her purse," he thought. He decided to see if he could find its owner and return it to her. {grabs purse} That was when the police spotted him. Policeman: There's the dog with the purse! {Odie whines. The policeman get out of the police car and chase Odie} After him! Odie continues to run away from the men. Garfield: By now, even more confused than usual, which is pretty confused, the puppy ran madly from the police. Odie runs by a cameraman. Cameraman: Hey, dog, this way! Odie runs across a street intersection where several cars make sudden stops to avoid hitting the dog. Cut to a van with two mischievous-looking men. Garfield: A block away, two men were manning the phony plumber's truck. Man: Joe! The ninth dog is coming in with the handbag. But the dog, he don't look familiar! Joe: Ah, we got so many now you can't keep track. Just get him in the back and let's split. Man: {opening back of van} Hey mutt! In here! Odie whines in fear as the policeman continue to chase. Man: I said in here! Hurry! {Odie hops in the van, and the man closes the door} Policeman round the corner. Joe: Ah, just act calm. They ain't looking for no plumbers. Garfield: The trick worked {cut to inside of van, revealing five dogs with stolen purses in their mouths, including Odie} and Odie found himself an accidental member of the purse snatching pooches. {Cut back to house, with Jon pacing the floor} Four hours later, Odie still wasn't home. Jon: Where could he be? I gave him $40. Garfield: {sitting on chair} Never trust $40 to someone whose IQ is a lower number. Let's see what else is on. {clicks remote} Newsperson returns on the TV. Newsperson: Lead on the gang of purse snatching dogs. Mrs. Streisand, no relation to the singer, told our news crew: Cut to Mrs. Streisand with a microphone held to her mouth by an off-screen reporter. Reporter: What kind of dog was it? Mrs. Streisand: It was small, white. Not very bright-looking, but at least he--he didn't get my chicken suit. {holds up suit} Cut back to Garfield on the chair. Garfield: Jon, we may be on to something! What am I thinking? Odie? Purse snatching? It couldn't be. Cut back to newsperson. Newsperson: An amateur photographer took this home video of the dog. {a picture of odie running with the purse is seen} Jon: That's Odie! Garfield: He's turned to a life of crime? {video is shown again} No, this cannot be. {jumps off chair} Odie is honest, true blue and decent. And he isn't smart enough to steal. {voiceover} And so the handsome cat, I, set out to find his--er--my friend. I vowed to search everywhere, from the highest mountain {Garfield looks over fence} to the deepest crevice of the earth. {looks down sewer drain} No matter what personal sacrifice, no matter what private agony, I vowed not to rest until I had cleared the good name of Odie. {Garfield comes to the men in the van, where the man is closing the door. Garfield jumps behind a nearby bush.} And it's lucky I found him a block and a half away because my feet were really starting to get tired. {cut to inside of van, where Odie is speaking to the other dogs} As we found out later, Odie had made the other dogs realize they were being used. Dogs: We're being used! For crime! Man comes by and opens the door. Man: Okay, come on, yous guys. Everybody out. {dogs come out and trample the man} Hey! Help, Joe! The dogs are loose! The dogs are loose! Cut to a nearby house, where Joe comes out. Joe: The dogs are loose? What do you mean the dogs are loose? Man: Just what I said! Let's get them. Especially that dumb-looking new one. Odie runs by Garfield, who whistles. Odie walks up to the cat. He gives him an affectionate lick. Garfield: Hey! Licking's a felony and you're in enough trouble already. Now, we-- Man: There's the mutt! Odie whines. Garfield: We run, that's what we do, we run! {runs away with Odie and is chased by robbers. They run into a nearby alley} This way, Odster! {runs through a door} Joe: They're hiding out in that building there! Man: We've got them trapped. {run through door} Cut to Garfield and Odie. Garfield tries to open a door, but the door does not open. Garfield: Locked! We're doomed! Hey, why are they chasing me? You're the crook. All right, all right, I know you didn't do it. And I know who did. The two robbers arrive. Man: Let me have the purse, mutt. The lights turn on. Joe: Hey, what kind of place is this, anyway? Camera zooms out to reveal a large group of police officers. Garfield: I believe it's called the 12th Precinct. {voiceover} The crooks were tossed in jail, the dogs were rounded up, and the purses returned to their rightful owners. {police officer gives purse to woman, who gives officer a kiss. Cut to a newspaper with the headline "Dog Helps Catch Purse Rings; Evanier Caught} The good name of Odie was cleared. {cut to inside of house, where Odie leaps into Jon's arms} And Odie was welcomed home despite the fact {an annoyed Garfields appears in the left hand corner} that he was without all my favorite foods starting with the letter "J." A criminal no more. {cut back to Garfield in detective garb, holding a file} That's it for this one. Be with us next time when we look into the Garfield Crime Files. {logo appears. Garfield pokes his head into view} We're going after the guy who edits movies for television. Talk about your evil criminals. Good night. Category:Transcript Category:Garfield and Friends Category:Garfield and Friends episodes, Season 6